Don’t Let Them Know

I’m having a hard time pretending. I don’t have an option. I have to pretend everything is okay.

I can’t let the kids know I’m not okay. I can’t let my coworkers know I’m not okay. I can’t let my patients know I’m not okay.

I have to continue my life as if nothing has changed. I have to go to work and face coworkers like I’m the happy person they have come to expect. I have to give my patients and their families my all because my problems are not their concern in the least. I have to show the brave face to my kids because my hurt isn’t theirs to burden.

How does one go about this? How does a person tell their mind to stop having anxiety attacks?

I’m trying. It isn’t easy but I’m working on it.

In the mean time I’ll cuddle my kids while they’ll let me. I’ll snuggle my puppy as long as I can. I’ll help my mother build her life again.

I cannot guarantee I will be able to be the happy-go-lucky person I used to be but I can promise I’m trying.