My Heart Hurts

My heart hurts.

My heart hurts for the family and friends of a young, new police officer minding his own business, in his own car, off duty, in his own neighbourhood.

My heart hurts for the Raleigh Police Department.

My heart hurts for the other police, fire, and EMS agencies who responded, are near the area, or anywhere, really, who respond to their own brothers and sisters being slaughtered, even those off duty at the time.

My heart hurts for the emergency room staff (registration, nurses, techs, doctors, security, police, chaplains, etc) affected by receiving multiple patients from this incident.

My heart hurts for the family, friends, and neighbours having to deal with the unthinkable.

My heart hurts for a neighbourhood who couldn’t feel safe in their own homes or were worried about those inside their homes that they couldn’t get to.

My heart hurts for all the families whose lives have been altered forever due to the actions of one person.

My heart hurts for the family of the young man who caused this event.

My heart hurts.

Our world is in turmoil. Mental health has been ostracised for decades. Having something as common as ADHD or anxiety has been stigmatised so heavily that those with severe depression or bipolar or schizophrenia are afraid to ask for help. When they do finally reach the point they have no choice but to get help, they are abandoned by the ones they trust the most or claim to be their family and friends.

It’s time to put an end to the shame that has encompassed mental illness for as long as I can remember.

It’s not your fault your brain doesn’t work like it’s supposed to.

It’s not your fault your chemistry isn’t the same as someone else’s.

It’s not your fault you need help to survive the disaster of life we all attempt to navigate.

It’s not your fault.

We can play the blame game until we are blue in the face. It won’t change anything.

The only thing that can change the outcome of the future is us. The people today who have the ability to remove the disgrace and dishonour of a mental health diagnosis.

Chemical imbalances in your physical health are treated without the blink of an eye. Oh, you are a diabetic? Here is some Metformin or Lantus. Oh, you have a clotting disorder? Here is some Coumadin or vitamin K. Oh, you are bipolar? Dishonour! Dishonour on your whole family! Make a note of this! Dishonour on YOU!

That sentiment is unacceptable and dangerous.

If anything comes of tonight’s events, let it be this.

A young man with his entire life ahead of him felt his only way to feel validated or significant is to cause immense trauma to complete strangers and to alter the lives of hundreds. That is not okay.

My heart hurts.