Oily Minded Medic

Do What Brings You Joy

I was in a leadership class this past week. They quoted a lot of good speakers throughout it but one quote stuck out to me. Not just the quote but the explanation behind it. It was from Stephen Covey’s The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and it goes as follows:

“Sharpen the Saw means preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have – you”.

So what does that mean?

It means if you are constantly using your saw – in other words your effort, your brain, your time, your compassion – it will dull. You can’t keep cutting with a dull blade. It needs to be sharpened to continue to work as it’s designed. To sharpen your saw you need to find time to do what makes you happy. What refills your cup? What recharges your batteries? If you give all your spoons away, you have none left for yourself.

What brings you joy?

What is the one thing that if someone asked you about today you would talk passionately about? Is it a pet? Is it music? How about art? Maybe it’s your latest gadget or something you’ve worked hard for. Maybe it’s the beach.

I have four.

My children bring me joy. Whether they are under the same roof, gallivanting around the world with me, or simply happy with the lives they are living, they always bring me joy. When I get a phone call or text message from any of them, it makes my day.

Sage, my cuddle-bug puppy (who isn’t a puppy anymore but shh – don’t tell her) brings me joy. She is a chihuahua/pit bull mix. She looks like a perpetual pittie puppy. She acts like a cat, though, and that girl can hold a grudge like no dog I’ve ever met. Regardless, she makes me happy.

Music grounds me. Music helps me express what I might not be able to. Music always has a song to match my mood. Music doesn’t judge me. Music understands.

Finally – my big recharge – travel. I love the ocean. I can visit the mountains or a desert but the ocean holds my heart. Well, water in general. I am down for a river cruise anywhere in the world. But the salt air is immediately relaxing. Getting on a plane is exciting. I swear I am still a child at heart. I have been on more planes than I can count. I still prefer the window seat because I want to watch us take off and land. It’s so fascinating to me. Then to land somewhere new – somewhere I might not know the language, somewhere the history is in the streets, and the beauty surrounds me – that brings me joy.

So why am I blabbering on about these things that bring me joy? Because they sharpen my saw. They keep me present. They add spoons, recharge my batteries, fill my cup, help me to help others.

You don’t need something big or expensive. You can even have one practical and one not so practical thing. Maybe it’s a bunch of little things. What brings you joy could be watching your favourite TV show. Maybe it’s playing video games. Maybe it’s even sitting in a corner and reading a book without interruptions.

The thing itself is less important. What is important is that you make time for yourself to do the things that bring you joy.

One of our instructors said that he is well aware he would most likely do what makes him happy anyway but he intentionally puts it in his schedule. That is a non-negotiable. That is going to happen. Seeing it in his schedule gives him something to look forward to.

Do you need to add it to your schedule? Maybe. Maybe not. I think that depends on how much priority you give yourself. If you keep giving away pieces of you without making time for something to make you happy – yes. You do need to schedule it. If you are capable of knowing every night at 7pm you are going to watch Jeopardy without question, maybe not.

The point isn’t to add more things to your schedule. The point is to make sure you are taking the time to sharpen your saw.

The Nearish Future

You all know I love to travel. It’s currently the middle of October 2025. Within the next year I am going to the local beach (by local I mean a few hours away), Wisconsin, Asheville, Las Vegas, Scotland, and by this time next year I’ll either be in Slovenia or Croatia.

I go to the beach every year with a group of girlfriends and there is never any drama. Just a ton of fun. We play games and go shopping and go out to eat and drink and have a fantastic time. Honestly, I have never looked forward to going to the beach in November so much as with these ladies. Whether or not it is beach weather.

Every year I go to Asheville. We stay at the Omni Grove Park Inn. We have a spa day. We spend a day in downtown Asheville. We listen to live music. We drink. Depending on the day of the week, we go to a piano bar. We shop at local boutiques. We visit the Biltmore and Biltmore village. It’s a way to unwind in the middle of the winter. Some years it is cold with snow surrounding the outside hot tub. Some years it is warm with poolside drink service. Some years we go just to support the local economy post hurricane or disaster. Regardless, we go. We unwind. Sometimes we plan a concert for the next year. Once we planned Elton John’s farewell tour. Once we planned Stevie Nicks and Billy Joel in Nashville. Regardless, we have a great time.

This November I am going to Wisconsin to visit my oldest who moved over 2 years ago. I haven’t had the opportunity to visit yet but this is the year. I get to go to a cute suburb of Green Bay AND see my oldest offspring thrive as an employee of the USPS (United States Postal Service). How lucky am I? Seriously. This trip is LONG overdue. Regardless, it will happen. And soon!!!

February I will go to Las Vegas to see The Wizard of Oz at the Sphere and then the New Kids on the Block at MGM. I’m not gonna lie. There is a possibility I have seen the NKOTB in concert before…more than once…maybe… But the Sphere will be an entirely new experience. One I am really looking forward to. Oh, and we’re having lunch on a balcony overlooking the Venetian Canals.

Let’s talk about Scotland. I am not going to explore the entire country (which I will do eventually) but to see one island in the Inner Hebrides in particular. I am going to visit the Island of Islay (pronounced eye-la). If any of you like peaty Scotch, you will know why. This is a tiny island. 25 miles long and 15 miles wide. The whole of the island is roughly 240 square miles. That is smaller than all five boroughs of NYC, about 10 times the size of just Manhattan Island alone. It has NINE working whisky distilleries AND its own airport. That being said, you can drive from one side to the other in a little over an hour…

So why am I going there? Because I like Scotch. I want to go to all nine distilleries. I want to leave from Port Ellen on foot and walk the Whisky trail to go to the “big three” (Ardbeg, Laphroig, Lagavulin). I want to stay in Bowmore and walk to the round church and the Bowmore distillery. I want to take day trips to the northern and western distilleries. I want to take a ferry back to the mainland. I want to have a week where I have no obligations other than mine. That’s why I am going to Scotland. For me.

I have been talking about going to Slovenia and Croatia for about a year now. I have recently sat down and made a spreadsheet. This trip will be 18 days – from my door back to my door. There will be 16 days in Europe. I will go truffle hunting. I will sit by the Sea Organ in Zadar at sunset. I will see castles and caves, and castles made out of caves, and waterfalls, and walled cities. I will put my feet in the Adriatic Sea. I will eat and drink local favourites. If you want my itinerary, let me know. When I get back, I’ll share what worked and what didn’t. Until then, you are on your own.

I love it here, don’t get me wrong. This is home. Atlantic Canada is home. Nothing can compare to either. But my heart wants to roam. My brain wants to learn. My soul wants experiences I can’t get here.

Farewell, my friends. I will keep you updated with the things I’ve gained from gallivanting the globe.

Wander Often, Wonder More

I know I talk about traveling a lot but there is a reason. It’s not just fulfilling, it’s cathartic. It gives you the opportunity to learn other cultures and history while spending time with those you love and meeting new people.

Shirt found in a souvenir shop in Dublin

Molly Malone “tart with the cart” a fictional character who represented the wives and daughters of fishermen in Dublin who sold the goods of the fishermen.

Recently my daughter and I traveled to Ireland, Wales, England, and France. We gained so much more than history and culture. We learned more about each other while there as well.

This is our third trip together through EF Tours. A tour group that aims to educate through travel. Last year was New Zealand and Australia. The year before was Germany, the Czech Republic, Poland, a quick lunch stop in Slovakia, then ending in Hungary. These trips are packed to the brim with experiences. They do have optional experiences but they often give you cheaper (because group pricing) opportunities to see things you may not otherwise see. But, for almost 2 weeks, that means you are on the go from sun up to sun down. It’s exhausting, but worth it.

Just Kenzie and me in St Stephen’s Green Park, NBD

So this trip started in Ireland. We had a walking tour of Dublin, then met the other school groups we were spending the next couple weeks with to travel to Shannon. We stopped in Bunratty along the way.

The town is so cute! History and wildlife. Educational and relaxing.

After that we went to the hotel where most of us ate our dinner then went to bed. Time zone change, lots of travel, lots of walking, and a lot more driving across country (yes it’s smaller than Indiana but it’s a whole country and we came from the other side of the Atlantic).

We did the Ring of Kerry next. We went to a bog village, drank Irish coffee, saw ALL the animals, gave a goat butt scratches, saw a “wee man and his donkey” (according to our tour director), stopped in a cute coastal town for lunch, saw a sheep and dog herding show, pet sheep and goats (and one cat), then drove our enormous coach through narrow streets and one tight tunnel.

Irish coffee, Bailey’s on the left, whisky on the right

The next day we were leaving Tralee and driving back to Dublin. My daughter woke up with food poisoning. She was miserable. I did what any mother would do and held up the entire group so I could wait for the pharmacy to open and get her something to help. We all piled into the coach, stopped in Blarney for a few hours, then hit the road to Dublin.

Kenzie woke up feeling much better but not quite 100% so we took it easy in Dublin. We had a walking tour, a bus tour, and a visit to the EPIC museum which is all about emigration. That night, though. We went dancing!

I was under the impression when this trip first came up that the Irish dance and music experience would be us seeing a show. Nope. It was not. We learned a couple simple Irish dances, a few traditional sing songs, and how to play the Bodhran. What a unique experience!

We took a ferry across the Irish Sea into Wales and stopped in Conwy. An actual walled city where people still live. There were so many people walking their dogs. It was a very picturesque town.

I would say the Stratford Upon Avon was my favourite town but I have too many favourites to claim it outright. It was beautiful and we fed pigeons, swans, ducks, and geese…and one dog…

When we got to London, we had decided to skip the excursion to Windsor Castle and spend six hours walking around the city instead. It was the right choice. Trafalgar Square had a Canada Day celebration that we stopped in. We got on the tube. We went to the Globe Theatre. We saw London Bridge and Tower Bridge from a river cruise down the Thames. It was such a lovely day I wasn’t sure it could be topped…and then we went to Paris…

Paris is a wonderful city and when we arrived, they were having a heatwave. It was HOOOTTTT. But, we managed. We saw all the must sees and had a few free hours so naturally my daughter needed a graduation present. We both have a thing for Christian Louboutin shoes. They have a store in Paris, naturally, so we went. Now my daughter has a pair of red bottom heels purchased in Paris. Happy graduation to her!

Then we tried to go home. I say tried because day one we got bumped off our flight, rebooked the next day, set up in a hotel with meal vouchers, and got “stuck” (oh gosh darn) in Paris for an extra night. What does one do with a free night in Paris? Seine River cruise, of course! The next day we attempted to go home again only to get bumped again. So we had a second free day in Paris. This time we decided to find a little café my daughter saw online that makes aligot and steak frites. Wow, that food was fantastic!

We eventually did make it onto a plane and home. The flight we were on was so empty they were moving people around to make sure the plane was balanced. Kenzie and I each had our own rows.

What did this trip teach us? How to love culture and history and each other more than the day before. How to communicate, not just with each other but total strangers and even in a different language.

Travel isn’t just about seeing things. It about creating memories and learning things you didn’t know before. You can be taught in school but until you see it with your own eyes, touch it with your own hands (if allowed), walked where people have been walking for hundreds of years, it doesn’t sink in the same way.

So to anyone who wants some unsolicited advice, dare to wander. Open your hearts up to wonder.

Travel

Whether it’s a bug or an itch that makes folks want to travel, I have it, right now … and it’s burning in the back of my mind telling me it’s time to go. Perhaps I’m a nomad living a grounded life. Perhaps I have dreams beyond what I can currently reach. Regardless, I have an urge to pack my bags and leave town.

I travel more than the average person but not nearly as much as I wish I could. I am seasoned enough to have habits and navigate airports easily. I’ve been to 18 countries with 3 more next month. I am in the planning process for another two countries next year. Sometimes I travel in groups, sometimes with a singular travel buddy, and sometimes I go by myself.

I absolutely love solo travel. You get to do what you want, when you want, where you want, and never have to worry about disappointing someone else, missing something they or you want to do, or travelling at someone else’s pace, whether that be faster or slower than your norm.

That said, I also love travelling with other people. What better way to share your travels than in real time? Wow! Wasn’t that amazing? What are your thoughts?

Right now I’m jonesing for travel. Not the little over nights here or there. Not the close-enough-to-drive-to places. I am yearning for more. For a country I’ve not been to yet. To a city I don’t know enough about. But more than that, I wanna go alone. I want to be dropped off at the airport with a “see you next week” and only an airline ticket to a random country. I want no plans. I want no companions. I want to truly explore.

Maybe it’ll happen. Maybe it won’t. Here’s to hoping I’ll have some solo adventures soon!

The Next Generation

Once upon a time when anything went wrong with my car, I’d call my dad. The last five years I haven’t been able to do that. A few times I was able to call a good friend of his for advice. Today was no different.

I asked one of his friends if replacing a battery is something I could do alone. The unequivocal belief in my abilities shone through his response. The last time I changed a car battery was either with Dad or his friend. Never alone.

Today I did it myself. Well, not completely. I asked my son to help. Someone has to hold the flashlight… just kidding. He helped more than that.

My car isn’t the typical car. It doesn’t have the normal battery set up. I had to wait for the battery to arrive then get the extension set for the metric ratchet and socket set. It wasn’t hard but it wasn’t just turning a couple bolts.

Today, my son and I together changed the battery in my car. Dad wasn’t here. His mechanically inclined friends weren’t here. It was just me and my son. We did it. We honoured Dad’s memory!

Things I wish I had known.

I have life long friends. I have people that know my deepest secrets. I have ride or dies I haven’t seen in years but will have my back without question.

I wish my kids did too.

I did everything I thought was right by them. I gave them the best education I could. I enrolled them in the best schools available. I taught them how to survive life.

I didn’t give them those friends they’ve had since before school. I didn’t give them the knowledge that someone aside from me has their back. I didn’t allow them to find out life for themselves.

My kids have turned out pretty great. I might be biased but they are pretty great. I just wish I could have instilled in them the life long friends I was offered.

Nothing can replace what I’ve been blessed to have but it hurts me to know that as good a life my kids have had, they don’t have those lifelong friends. Nothing can replace them.

A lifetime ago

Summers spent on a farm. Picking fresh food from the garden (peas, beans, rhubarb, raspberries, and any other fruit or vegetable you can imagine). Sitting on my grandfather’s lap driving a tractor across the land to pick plums. Visiting the dairy farm (quite often and watching the Sound of Music on said farm while drinking fresh milk). Swimming in the neighbour’s pool. Collecting mail from the “post office” which was someone’s dinning room altered to look like the mail room in Jim Carrey’s version of the Grinch. Going to the general store, quite literally the only store around that sold everything from gas to fresh groceries. Bingo at the fire department with actual daubers. “Cook outs” where meeting new family members was customary. Visiting the community centre (an old one room school house converted) for jamborees of live music and homemade food. Climbing trees. Hanging clothes to dry. Playing badminton in the yard. Being 100%, absolutely terrified that the cellar hid dark, evil beings while the pantry, on the other hand, was a place of creation and life. Feeding the horses and every other critter. Kitchen parties. Baking without recipes or measurements. Living with all the indoor plants you could imagine. Dancing to blue grass while Papa listened on his old radio. Feeding chickens and cows. The memories you can’t fake. The memories you can’t relive no matter how hard you try. The memories you will never forget.

I had an amazing childhood experiencing love in so many ways. Traveling to visit family in another country. Traveling to compete or watch my sister compete. Participating in parades. Although it’s not the same today, going home still evokes a level of welcome and love I cannot express.

Those were some of my memories on my grandparent’s farm. Every time I go home I connect with friends I’ve had since I’ve had memories and family (sometimes ones I’ve never met before) that can never be replaced.

To say I was a lucky child is an understatement.

Nostalgia is strong some days. To be carefree with family eating fresh food and listening to live music is my safe place. Add in an ocean and that is my dream life.

I was very fortunate. Not everyone has the same ideal past I choose to remember. And that’s okay. Who you were and what you remember made you who you are today. I choose to remember the happiness. I hope you do too.

Detoured Plans

I had plans for an adventure filled weekend: Out of town concert Thursday night, drive home Friday, celebrate my mother’s 70th birthday all day Saturday, and finish it off at a convention Sunday afternoon. Before the weekend even started those plans became altered.

I was working night shift Wednesday. My college aged son, who was out of state, called me around 2am Thursday asking for his medical insurance information. He fell on the ice and injured his arm. The way he was describing his symptoms I was under the impression he dislocated his elbow. Boy was I wrong.

He broke the olecranon, top of the ulna that creates the hinge of the elbow, clear off. He also damaged his radius and humerus. He required surgery.

A misunderstanding led to us believing he was having surgery out of state Friday. The decision was made to drive up Friday, attend his surgery, and drive him home Saturday. On arrival at the surgical center they advised his surgery would be the following week. We chose to return home for surgery and the healing process.

So, Friday evening we stayed out of town and drove home first thing Saturday morning. My mother was still able to enjoy her birthday dinner. A couple of unexpected friends joined us. Even though plans changed, we managed to surprise her and she had a great time.

We still were able to go to the convention Sunday.

Monday and Tuesday we were playing it all by ear. First stop was the orthopaedic surgeon for more x-rays. Then a CT was needed. But wait! We live in the US and require prior authorisation before getting an urgent CT (insert eye roll here). We managed to get that done Tuesday afternoon before his Wednesday surgery.

Humerus to the right. Radius to the left. The radius should be above the humerus. The free floating white piece should be attached to the top of the radius.

Arriving at the orthopaedic surgical suite was interesting. All the staff were amazing. They were so kind and accommodating. They all commented on his x-rays and how none of them have seen an injury that severe. We were there for 7.5 hours.

Surgery took longer than anticipated. As we were leaving we realised the pharmacy was about to close. I called them and explained the situation. I asked if I could have someone else come pick up his meds ASAP as we thought we would have left much earlier. They said they are going to lock the door while they shut everything down but to knock and they would make sure we were able to pick up his meds. Thank goodness for mom and pop pharmacies still existing!

What his repaired elbow looks like on an x-ray.

Elbow reconstruction surgery wasn’t on my bingo card for 2025.

My son is a trooper. Even after all he has been through in the last week, he still wears a smile. He might not be able to shower without someone covering his cast for him but that doesn’t stop him from being a kind and loving soul.

My heart hurts for his healing journey, which may take up to a year. My heart hurts thinking he may need future surgeries to add prostheses in that arm. He’s young and strong and optimistic. He very well may become left handed. I’m proud of him for how he’s dealing with everything.

Big Little Secrets

My life is an open book. I don’t hide much of anything. I like to share my experiences with others to potentially help them or at least let them know I can empathise with what they are going through. Until something big happens to me.

There is a quote from Doctor Who that I plan to have tattooed on my arm because it describes me so well. “I am, and always will be, the optimist, the hoper of far-flung hopes, and the dreamer of improbable dreams.” – Matt Smith as the Eleventh Doctor. I do my best to see the light in every situation I am in. I believe dreams can come true. I want those around me to feel empowered and not undervalued or misunderstood.

When something major happens in my life, I don’t tell a soul. I tend to keep the darkest and scariest parts of my life hidden until I can’t anymore. I am working on doing a better job but I’m still a work in progress.

Recently I found a lump in my breast. I was positive it was scar tissue from a previous surgery but I was still a little scared, okay I was a lot scared. There is a large presence of cancer all over my family, including breast cancer. I did a BRCA test years ago but, although it was negative, that doesn’t mean I can’t get cancer, just that I am not at a 40% greater risk of getting cancer.

I didn’t tell anyone. For a couple weeks I kept it to myself. I made an appointment with my doctor but didn’t say a word. I didn’t tell a single soul that my life could be about to really change. Then I told only a couple of people that are close to me. Saying it out loud made it all the more real. I didn’t want it to be real. When I did get in to see my doctor, she wanted me to have a same day mammogram. Since they couldn’t get me in that day they wanted me to come in on a day I was supposed to work. I told them I was working and to make the appointment for the following week. They asked me to take sick leave and come in on the day I was supposed to be working.

That made it even more real. Now they want me to get a diagnostic mammogram followed by ultrasound, urgently.

I was scared. I did what I always do and I put on a brave face. I pretended nothing was wrong. “It’s nothing.” “It’s just scar tissue and they are being cautious.” “Better to be safe than sorry.” But inside, I was terrified.

I have some really great friends. Like the best a girl could ask for. I can quite literally trust them with my life.

But I couldn’t trust them with my fear of facing cancer.

I made light of it. I remained positive. I told everyone I KNOW it is scar tissue and they are making a big deal out of nothing.

If I am being truthful, I don’t even think I was completely honest with myself. That became evident when I got back into my car with a clean bill of health and a new “post surgical oil cyst” whose name is now Gertrude.

Y’all, the relief that poured out of my eyes while sitting in the parking lot of my doctor’s office was heavy. A gigantic weight streamed out of my body and I finally allowed myself to understand fully that I had a major cancer scare but I am fine. I do NOT have cancer.

I am not an emotional person. I am an extremely logical thinker and emotions don’t come naturally for me. Emotions don’t make sense; they get in the way. They cloud judgement and cause problems.

Today, sitting in my car alone, being told I don’t have cancer, just a new friend named Gertrude, I was an emotional wreck.

Once I collected myself, nothing could get me down. I was on cloud nine! Tears and elation in one day? You know what, I’ll take it.

So here’s to learning how to ask for help. Here’s to learning to have emotions and allowing myself to feel. But most of all, here’s to being cancer free!

Changes

I have written before how songs take on different meanings as life hands you different challenges. I can’t help but say it again.

My oldest son has decided to move over a thousand miles away. I am so proud of him for living his own life and doing something on his own. I also moved far away from home when I was not much younger than he is now. But tonight a song played from my playlist that I haven’t heard in a while and it made me smile…and tear up.

The song itself is not what is important but the fact he is starting his own life. He is creating what I once did. I hope for the best for him. I can’t wait to visit him when he gets settled.

Music says what we don’t know we need. Music shares emotions we can’t express.