My life as a Canadian, mother, paramedic, and essential oils enthusiast living in North Carolina and learning makeup again. Some days I will be funny, some days I will be serious, and some days things will just be strange. This is my journey. http://p.yq.link/i9hlgfr
Not for the gifts, nor the tree, nor the decorations, nor the food. Not even for the parties. I love the Christmas season for what it stands for. What it really means.
Whether you believe in Jesus, Santa, or something else all together, think about all the good deeds done this time of year. There are always people helping others everywhere. That is why Christmas is my favourite.
The general feeling the season brings is happiness. Stop stressing about giving the best gift or hosting the perfect dinner. None of that matters. Spend time with people.
When I think back to my childhood holiday gatherings I don’t remember the bad things. Maybe the turkey didn’t turn out as planned or I didn’t get the latest and greatest toy. All I can remember is my family being together. We ate dinner and dessert. We watched movies and played games. We decorated the tree or the house.
The little things are what matter. The Jim Carrey version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr Seuss displays today’s mindset perfectly. Christmas has gone from a season of giving to a season of being better than our neighbours.
Having the best decorations or a perfect dinner/party are unimportant. Don’t worry about giving the greatest gift. It’s okay to forget the cards one year.
This year I challenge you to sit back, enjoy the company, and quit letting stress ruin your holiday.
To all you single parents or parents whose partners are deployed/away for business, God bless you. I don’t know how you do it.
I have a husband who is a fantastic help. We have a system and we each have our responsibilities when it comes to errands with the kiddos. We both have full time jobs that keep us away from our family quite a bit as well.
The past few weeks I have been running back and forth trekking my kids to different classes and events. My days off have been busier than the days I work. I have an app on my phone that tracks my mileage. One of my days “off” last week I drove 190.2 miles going back and forth from my house to schools and appointments.
Here is an example of my last few weeks. I would work night shift, 7p-7a, get home, shower, change clothes, and start my life. Meanwhile, a hurricane decided to find its way onto the coast of North Carolina. Although I live in the middle of the state, the forecast was that it would impact us too. Aside from preparing my home and family for potential catastrophe, we were in preparation mode at work too. I work in public safety. It was all hands on deck.
So I worked Wednesday and Thursday nights, Hurricane Florence hit us Friday. We lost power at our house that night. Sunday night I got called back into work. I then worked my regular shifts Monday and Tuesday night. Wednesday I had a to take Sage to the vet for her Rabies vaccine. I showed up an hour late… oops! They managed to squeeze us in. I then had to drive 20+ miles to downtown to pick up both of my boys from two different schools, drop one off at Driver’s Ed 25 miles from there, drive the other to an optometrist appointment 6 miles to go back and pick up the first son from Driver’s Ed before going home.
Thursday started with taking my daughter to the eye doctor, returning her to school in downtown Raleigh, going back to a chiropractor appointment, heading to the other side of town to pick up school uniforms, going back downtown Raleigh to get Gregory and drive hime 25 miles to Driver’s Ed, drive another 25 miles to pick up Kenzie from run club, then back to pick Gregory up from Driver’s Ed, then another 25 miles back downtown for a graduation information session, after which I needed to feed my poor senior, finally to get home around 8:30pm.
My days off have not been very restful…
All of these are temporary. My children will one day be grateful for our sacrifices.
All of the parents out there who don’t have the support of another person, you are miracle workers. I don’t understand how you can do all of the things you do and keep your sanity.
Have you ever had one of those days where thing after crappy thing keeps happening? You turn a corner thinking maybe things will get better but something else just happens? Not necessarily worse, but just one more thing? That was my day today.
It started off like any other typical day shift, sluggish and half asleep (I still don’t like days). I drove arounds, saw some folks, and then it went downhill.
My first call of the day was a house fire. A family lost more than just possessions today. After the fire was out and the smoke was cleared, a firefighter came out holding a little dog. He was found close to where the fire started. He was tiny and hot and full of soot. He wasn’t breathing. We all tried to revive that little guy. We did puppy CPR and used a puppy bag valve mask and kept trying and trying. We didn’t want to give up. It just wasn’t in the cards for him. We couldn’t save the little fellow.
The rest of my work day was just this and that and one thing after the other of not terrible but certainly not routine nor what I would call good events, either. I got in my car to go home and found a crack across the windshield that wasn’t there this morning. My car is due for inspection next month and now I need a new windshield.
Getting home has to be better, right? Well, I found myself trying to avoid the mess my puppy left for me in the mud room. She is pretty good about telling you she needs to pee but occasionally when my husband and I are at work, the kids “don’t hear” when she rings the bell asking to go out… So, I cleaned up a mess.
Within 20 minutes of getting home I put lavender and peppermint in all the diffusers around the house, changed my clothes, and headed to the grocery store. I bought two bottles of wine and a king sized candy bar. The woman at the register didn’t say much. She smiled and wished me a better evening. Clearly she understood.
Perspective is so amazing. It can be formed by our upbringing. It can be influenced by our jobs. It can be manipulated by society.
This quote by Abraham Lincoln says it all. “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” Wow. Just think about that for a minute. Have you ever pricked yourself with a thorn from a rose bush? Perhaps, instead, you were enjoying the beauty and aroma of the flower from a thorn bush. That changes things. You are aware there are dangers and you don’t mind because the rose is worth the risk. Rather than being angry or annoyed from the pain and injury, you can be happy that you had the opportunity to partake in such elegance as the delicate flower from a harsh thorn bush. Like a rainbow, it can be the beauty in the midst of a storm.
Take that same change in perspective and move it to everything in life. Rather than believing the person that annoys you or interferes with your day is doing so maliciously, think about it from their side. Why are they annoying you or interfering with your day? Maybe they are lonely. Maybe they hurting. Maybe they have never been taught manners. Maybe they don’t have the life skills or knowledge to do what you think should be done. Maybe, just maybe, they have been hurt before and are trying to keep from being hurt again.
How about changing your perspective on traffic from being upset and full of road rage to being grateful you have transportation and a place to go. Maybe the person who cut you off or is driving erratically is on his or her way to see a sick or dying loved one. Perhaps they are getting older and their vision and depth perception isn’t quite what it used to be.
You can also change how you think about dirty dishes. It isn’t a mess or a chore. It is a blessing. Dirty dishes mean you have food to eat and a place to eat it.
Perspective and conscious language go hand in hand. When you say something enough, your brain starts to believe it. Look on YouTube or do a Google search for TED talks on the power of words or conscious language. There are so many it is amazing. Why? Because they are all on to something.
Choosing your words wisely can make or break your day, your week, your month, or even your year. (Yes, I totally just used The Rembrandts “I’ll Be There For You” lyrics, also known as the Friend’s theme song, to get my point across.) Henry Ford said it best. “Whether you say you can or you can’t, you’re right.” Believing in yourself and using positive, carefully chosen words can have the greatest impact on your life. The most successful entrepreneurs didn’t take failure as a no, they believed it to mean not now or not that way. They reinvented, modified, or changed perspective and persisted to create alternating current, the automobile, the airplane, the smartphone.
Instead of saying to yourself “I don’t know if I can” change it to “I will”. Don’t say “I don’t know” or “I can’t” alone. I recently heard someone say if negative phrases are necessary, add yet to the end of it. “I don’t know yet” or “I can’t yet”. Do you see how that changes perspective and mindset? Use conscious language to encourage yourself to be better at everything.
Negative thoughts can invade your mind and tempt you to be hard on yourself. Most people are their own worst critics. Look at yourself from a child’s view. If you are a mother or a father, watch this YouTube video. https://youtu.be/CAqBv37nFq0 Heck, everyone watch this YouTube video. Learn to see from a child’s mindset. It’s only 3.5 minutes long. Believe in yourself like children do.
Surround yourself with positive people. I heard an interview with tobyMac where he remembered someone giving him advice years ago. I don’t remember the exact words but it was along the lines of every encounter you have with another individual you are either giving life or draining it. Be someone who gives life and encompass yourself with others who do the same. “Speak words to inspire” tobyMac, Speak Life.
Seriously. Be the light, the life, and the love other people need. Encourage those around you. Encourage yourself. Use positive, conscious language. See yourself from the eyes of a child. Look at things from a different angle. Change your perspective to see the thorn bush as having roses rather than the rose bush as having thorns.
Public safety personnel are there for the minor and the major events. We are there when rings won’t come off fingers. We are there when you are having a heart attack. We are there when you’ve fallen and need a helping hand. We are there when your loved one is dying.
Many times when we are there for you, we are missing our family events or holidays. That is me in uniform at my daughter’s piano recital because I had to leave early to go to work. We make sacrifices most people don’t understand. I am not complaining. I absolutely love my job. But we are people too.
Just because we arrive with kind hearts and smiling faces to help you in your time of need does not mean it doesn’t affect us. We work best facing tragedy. We are capable of pushing aside our emotions for the here and now. But we can’t do that forever.
There are multiple different coping mechanisms we have developed throughout our careers. Some resort to comedy, even with inappropriate timing. Some resort to talking amongst coworkers about “war stories”. Some resort to substances. Some seek professional help. Some keep it inside. Some have a good cry on the bumper of the ambulance after watching a family say an unexpected goodbye to a loved one.
Yes, we do feel. We don’t always feel or understand your physical pain but we do feel your emotional pain. We can see the 50+ years of marriage disappearing in the blink of an eye leaving a spouse to figure out a new life alone. We can feel the heartbreak of a child losing his/her mother. We can hear the hurt and disbelief when we have to tell you our efforts have been in vain and the person we have been fighting so hard to keep has died. Sometimes we are able to hide our pain from you. Sometimes it’s too much.
We live your worst nightmares every day. We see things people should never see and we do it multiple times a shift. We do it because we love people. We do it because we want to help complete strangers in their hour of need. We don’t get paid a lot and that’s okay. None of us ever got into this job thinking we are going to be rich. We don’t need recognition for a job well done. We also didn’t realise what we would witness during our careers.
We get abused, both verbally and physically. We get soaking wet standing in the rain at the scene of an accident. We get overheated standing by at structure fires trying to keep our firefighter friends from heat stroke while battling a blaze on hot summer days. We freeze standing outside in the winter waiting to enter a house that is locked and the person inside we were sent to help can’t open the door. We risk our lives standing on the side of a highway while cars rush by beside us. We see babies being born and lives ending. We see it all.
Please don’t ask us what the worst thing we’ve seen is. We will tell you a lie. If we do relive the worst thing we’ve ever seen we don’t want that burden on your shoulders. That is our baggage. Many of us suffer from PTSD. Many of us don’t know where to turn when our shoebox of memories overflows.
Please look out for your fellow public safety folks. Smile at them when you see them in uniform. Let them know you appreciate their sacrifices to keep you safe. A simple thank you means a lot more than you would ever know. If you know someone that doesn’t seem to be acting like themselves, talk to them. Get them help. Sometimes we are the ones in need.
Let’s keep our public safety family happy and healthy to serve you another day.
I have always brushed my teeth and gone to the dentist regularly. Ever since I had braces as an adult, I have been much more diligent. Some may even say obsessed. Having to pay full price for braces and then having jaw surgery, I felt as though I didn’t want to waste all that money by having damaged teeth from the braces. I would brush my teeth after every meal, snack, juice, soda. You name it. I always had a toothbrush in my hand.
I have been searching for the perfect toothbrush forever. I have used manual, power, ultrasonic, cheap, expensive, battery operated, rechargeable, every type imaginable. I have used them all. Then one day I was browsing on the internet and came across a review for the Burst toothbrush. Y’all, all I can say is WOW!
The video I saw was a dental hygienist with a few ears of corn covered in coffee grounds. She wet the corn, spread coffee grounds into all of its crevices, and then used different style toothbrushes to clean the corn (manual, cheap electric, expensive sonic, and Burst). I was impressed. I did more research. I couldn’t find anything bad being said about it so I thought I would try it out. I found a coupon code online and ordered my Burst toothbrush for half price ($39.99 instead of $79.99).
One of the things to know about the Burst toothbrush is that it is a subscription service. For $6 every three months they send you a new brush head.
So what is so special about a toothbrush? The first thing you will notice when you see it is that it has black bristles. They are coated in charcoal. No, you don’t taste soot when you are brushing your teeth. Yes, the bristles are super soft. There is a little plastic stopper in the bristles to prevent you from pushing too hard. They are also a bunch of different lengths to help with cleaning all the nooks and crannies of your mouth. Because the bristles are so soft, you can even use it with braces.
It has three different speed settings (whitening, sensitive, massage). You press the button in quick succession to change between the modes. Whatever mode you turn it off with will be the mode it automatically starts with the next time you use it. When you use it in whitening mode it vibrates at 33,000 sonic vibrations a minute. It can tickle your mouth and lips a little if you are unfamiliar with ultrasonic toothbrushes. You do get used to it, though. I would also suggest not turning it on until it is in your mouth as it will make a huge mess of the toothpaste on its bristles.
Indicator lights
Not only does it have a two minute timer in which it will turn off, it also pauses or does a double vibrate every 30 seconds. They call it a Quadpacer. This is to tell you when to move to a different quadrant of you mouth.
The Burst toothbrush comes with a USB charger. The brush has a 700 mH lithium battery. If you brush your teeth twice a day it will last FOUR weeks between charges. Crazy, right? This is one of my favourite things. This allows me to take it to work or vacation without worrying about bringing the charger. One less thing to pack and keep track of, count me in!
If you like to brush your teeth in the shower but are worried about brining an electric toothbrush in with you, don’t think twice! The Burst toothbrush can safely be used in your shower!
What about if your toothbrush breaks. It can’t possibly last forever, right? It has a two year warranty if you stop your subscription for the replacement heads. However, as long as you subscribe, your brush remains under warranty!
Why did I just do an entire blog post on a toothbrush? Because I have NEVER found a toothbrush that cleans this well. The only time I have ever felt my teeth as clean as they are every time I use my Burst toothbrush is when I leave the dentist. If you are like me and are obsessed with clean teeth, I urge you to get your own. Trust me. You won’t be disappointed.
Families come in all shapes and sizes. There is your biological family, which you cannot change; that could be just you and your parents or siblings and cousins too many to count. There is your chosen family; whether through marriage or friendship this family can change throughout the years. In public safety, our coworkers are like a second family.
My chosen family may not look like yours. I have a husband and three children. You may have a wife and five children. Someone else may have no children at all. Sometimes the members of your chosen family aren’t even people. Sometimes they have four legs and fur.
Baby Kenzie snuggles
Alex snuggles
Alex hug
Hanging out with Alex
Pinning him down!
Christmas Gracie
Silly face
Alex has always been an animal lover. We adopted Gracie when he was just a baby. Kenzie wasn’t even born when our family grew by four legs. Only Gregory can remember a time that our house did not include a black lab full of unconditional love. This past September our family grew by another four paws. Sage is a ball of energy who loves to chew on anything she can fit into her mouth, including Gracie’s ears. Gracie just lets her do what she wants. I think she secretly likes it. Friday, April 20th our family changed again. This time, not for the better.
Our old girl had seen better days. We couldn’t watch her suffer any more. Thursday when the children were at school and John was at work, it was like she just gave up. She could barely walk. She couldn’t manage to hold anything to even reach the door, let alone make it outside. I called the vet and scheduled the hardest appointment of my life for the next day. I knew it would be difficult to watch her in that condition overnight but I had to let the children say good bye. I couldn’t let them come home and find her missing. Thursday night was almost as hard as Friday morning. I watched my children grieve and pour all their love onto our sweet lady.
Welcoming Gracie home
Check out her new harness!
This picture disturbed her peace
She wanted me to know she knew what I was doing
Paint me like one of your french girls
Clearly I wasn’t holding any treats…
After taking all the kiddos to school, John and I drove to the vet. After an hour of loving and cuddling and holding and crying, the vet euthanised Gracie to end her suffering.
Our family won’t be the same without this beautiful furball. She will certainly be missed. We love you Gracie!
Consistency – such a funny word. It is said to be successful or proficient at anything you need to be consistent. The Cambridge English Dictionary defines it as follows:
I am consistent at drinking wine. I am consistent with snuggling my puppers.
That is Sage beside me and Gracie at my feet. I am also really, really consistent at being absent minded and forgetful, like forgetting the names of my children and their birthdays…
I want to be consistent with posting to my blog or Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. I want to be consistent with reading and housework. I want to be consistent with many more things but I simply forget. There have been many loads of laundry rewashed, dirty dishes mixed with clean in the dishwasher, steeping tea forgotten only to become bitter and cold. I am not very good at adulting most days but I try.
I decided I would try to take a supplement that helps support cognitive function. It is formulated to support heart and brain health. It’s made with sacha inchi oil, pomegranate extract, rhododendron extract, turmeric root powder, coconut oil, lemon oil, peppermint oil, fennel oil, anise oil, and lime oil. It is high in vegetarian omega 3 fatty acids, vitamin D3, ALCAR, GPC, and bio-identical CoQ10 (Bio-identical means the molecular structure is identical to what your body makes on its own). Clearly this will help me be more consistent.
There is only one teeny, tiny flaw in my wonderful idea. Consistency. In order to reap the benefits of any supplement you need to take it more than every once in a while. I have half a box left of the 30 sachets I ordered in December… I am not very consistent with taking my MindWise.
Photo credit to Healthy Living with Essential Oils
The single serve sachets don’t need to be refrigerated like the 15 ounce bottle does after its been opened so I am hoping that by moving them onto my bathroom counter I will see them every morning and start remembering to take it. I am also hoping that by seeing and taking my MindWise every day I may be able to remember some more important things, like picking my children up from the bus stop and feeding the dogs…
I have worked in public safety for 17 years. When I started my journey, all our shifts started at 08:00 am. You may have been stationed close to your house or perhaps on the other side of the county but you were expected to be there at 07:30 regardless your travel time. From October to December of 2008 I spent several weeks working a 9-5 schedule while attending the inaugural Advanced Practice Paramedic academy for Wake County EMS.
January 2009 I started on an eight year journey as an APP. My shift still started at 08:00 am. In July of 2010 I moved to a different station and spent the next 6.5 years starting my 12 hour shifts at 10:00 am. It was perfect! I could drop my children off at school for 09:00 and head straight to work. I didn’t have to drop them off early. I didn’t have to get up before the sunrise. I loved the hours!
After being promoted to District Chief, I switched to night shift. Oh, night shift, how I love you! I was in my element! Over the next 14 months I spent most of those on night shift with a short stint on days. My coworker asked if we could do a swap where I would work one 24 hour shift a week and every other Friday, Saturday, Sunday on days. He would work one 24 hour shift and spent his weekends on nights. Most weekends I would pick up an extra shift so there would be one 12 and one 36 hour shift. Time flew by. After a few months I went back to night shift.
January rolled around and it was time to go back to days. To say I have a hard time functioning in the morning would be an understatement. It takes me several hours to be able to get my brain to wake up and tell the rest of my body what it is supposed to be doing. I laugh at myself every morning. What makes day shift so hard now is that our shifts start at 07:00 am. Never in my life have I had to actually get up for work with the rest of the world. There are cars, people, and school buses. There is a giant ball of fire in the sky that my skin does not like. Honestly, I don’t think the burning hydrogen and helium that creates light likes me either.
Thank goodness we switch every so often. I only have two more shifts of waking up early. Although I really like the people I work with, I thrive at night. I sleep better when I can come home and walk my daughter to the bus stop and go to bed. There is no one in the house but me and the puppies. No children playing with friends or fighting. No laundry or dishes being washed. I go to bed around 09:00 and don’t get up until the kids get home from school. I get nearly seven hours of sleep. I have tried to sleep while working day shift. I just can’t get into bed early until the days I am so physically exhausted I can’t help it. Sometimes it will be on the couch; other times I sit on the bed to plug my phone in and wake up several hours later realising I am not in my pyjamas.
Even the emergency calls are different at night. Just like days, some nights are busier than others. Some nights are spent taking care of problems that arise with crew members or their equipment. Some nights are filled with medical emergencies. Some nights are filled with traumatic injuries or fires. Some nights are filled with the strange entertainment that can only be found in public safety.
Whether working days or nights, the people we encounter and the lives we change are the real motivators. Sharing a reassuring smile to someone in need can change the way the current emergency is perceived. Making someone as comfortable as possible in a less than ideal situation is what it is all about.
Four years ago today I received an unforgettable call from my very distraught mother. I was standing in my living room. John was standing in the kitchen. He saw my face change as my mother told me the horrible news. He knew what she had to say. Traci was dead.
Traci was my older sister. I would say bigger sister but she wasn’t. She called me her big little sis because I was several inches taller than her. Not because I am tall but because she was quite short. She was three years older than me.
Me and Traci
Traci in pigtails
That infectious smile lasted throughout her short life. She was free spirited and kind hearted. She was stubborn. Boy, was she stubborn. But when she loved, she did so immensely.
New Year’s Eve 2013 was the last time we spoke. She lived in Calgary, Alberta and I live in North Carolina. A two hour time difference and over 2400 miles separated us. We didn’t talk every day but at least once a week. Often forgetting the time difference she would call late at night just to talk. The first week of January 2014 goes by and neither my parents nor I had heard from her. That wasn’t in itself unusual but when we tried to call her, she would always call us back. Thursday January 9th, 2014 we still hadn’t heard anything. She wasn’t answering her phone. She wasn’t on Facebook. She seemed to have disappeared. We made contact with a couple of her friends in Calgary and eventually were able to reach her neighbour. She said she hadn’t seen her either, which was completely out of character. By this time it was Sunday. Her neighbour was able to contact her landlord who would come out Monday to see if Traci’s cats were still home. Traci wouldn’t go anywhere if her kitties were not being cared for and her neighbour hadn’t seen them in the window. Monday. January 13th, 2014. The worst call a parent could ever receive. “Your daughter is dead.” They found her inside her apartment.
The next couple of weeks were some of the most difficult I have ever faced. I had to coordinate how to get my sister and her belongings from Calgary to North Carolina. Laws are different in Alberta. My parents couldn’t just hand over next of kin to me with a notary. If they chose not to be next of kin, the crown prosecutor would elect who they thought would be the next best choice. Maybe it would be me. Maybe it would be a complete stranger. We decided to have a letter written allowing me to act on my parents behalf. I spoke with the funeral home. I spoke with the landlord. I spoke with her friends. It was decided I would fly to Canada in early February to bring her home.
John came with me. I am so grateful he was there. We closed bank accounts and took what we thought she would want us to have. Some came home with us on the plane and others were mailed back. Most of her larger items we left and allowed her friends to have. She would want her friends to have the shirt of her back if it meant they wouldn’t do without. Her furniture and lawn care equipment were all given to her friends. Saturday night we went to her favourite dive bar in her honour. Monday we flew home. Flying home with a small box clutched in my arms that was once my sister was much more painful than I had imagined. She had to go through the x-ray. I didn’t want to let her go. John calmly convinced me I had to or we would be stuck in Canada.
Traci loved her family. She was an amazing aunt to my children. When Gregory was having a hard time in school, she would call him and encourage him. He looked up to her.
Traci with our parents, our grandmother, my husband and our children.
Traci with Nanny Macumber
I am not a fan of the cold and I don’t like the snow. Traci kept asking me to come visit her and go skiing in Banff. I never did. Now I wish I had. I always joke that her final act of defiance was to get me in Alberta in the winter. John made sure we went to Banff. We didn’t go skiing but we had lunch above the cute little town atop of the mountains.
Our grandfather died in 2003. From that moment on she always said she wanted to be buried next to him. We honoured her last request. Her final resting place is directly beside Papa.
Traci and Papa
Traci’s gravestone
Life isn’t the same without her goofy personality. The pieces get picked up and life continues but something is missing.
Oily Minded Medic 