Starting Over

My mother is 65 years old. She has always lived with someone else. She lived with family and then got married to my father. That was 45 years ago. They lived together for nearly 45 years.

When Dad died in March, Mom moved in with me, my husband, and our three children. She watched as her entire life, everything she worked for, everything she lived for, was erased before her eyes. She lost her soulmate. She lost her house and all her belongings. She was lost herself.

Tuesday she started a new chapter in her life. My mother moved into her very own apartment! See her smile!

I am helping her get back on her feet. I am making sure she has everything she needs. Together, her new life starts now.

Naturally Kenzie and I had to check out the pool! The kids love her new apartment. Furniture is slowing going to be delivered but give it a few weeks and this place will feel like a home. Mom’s home.

This phase in life is a step forward for my mother. A little bit of independence and something to call her own. Good luck, Mom. I’ve got your back.

Don’t Let Them Know

I’m having a hard time pretending. I don’t have an option. I have to pretend everything is okay.

I can’t let the kids know I’m not okay. I can’t let my coworkers know I’m not okay. I can’t let my patients know I’m not okay.

I have to continue my life as if nothing has changed. I have to go to work and face coworkers like I’m the happy person they have come to expect. I have to give my patients and their families my all because my problems are not their concern in the least. I have to show the brave face to my kids because my hurt isn’t theirs to burden.

How does one go about this? How does a person tell their mind to stop having anxiety attacks?

I’m trying. It isn’t easy but I’m working on it.

In the mean time I’ll cuddle my kids while they’ll let me. I’ll snuggle my puppy as long as I can. I’ll help my mother build her life again.

I cannot guarantee I will be able to be the happy-go-lucky person I used to be but I can promise I’m trying.