How Bizarre

Have you ever had an event that was so bizarre you clearly didn’t make it up?

That was me tonight.

The story I like to tell is that my mother stabbed me in the face. She doesn’t like it when I say that.

I mean, technically that IS what happened. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I was throwing away chicken bones. I dropped some on the floor. Sage, my vacuum of a dog, immediately decided those bones were hers. I leaned down and started to chase her to get the bones out of her mouth. While all this is happening, my mother is loading the dirty knives into the dishwasher. I walked head first into the business end of a Santoku knife.

My poor mother is beside herself thinking she stabbed me in the eye. She is so upset, even still. I, the paramedic with a macabre sense of humour, find it absolutely hilarious.

Heads bleed. Even small wounds bleed a lot. I had blood everywhere. It was at this precise moment I learned I don’t have any gauze in my house. I grabbed a wad of toilet paper and pushed as hard as my head allowed. I managed to get the bleeding to stop after 15 minutes. Unfortunately the wound was open so off to the urgent care I went.

Three stitches, antibiotics, and a tetanus shot later and I’m back home.

I can’t go to work tomorrow. The potential for infection and where the N95 masks would sit are both problems. I guess it’s an extra long weekend for me!

My poor mother is so much more upset by this event than I ever will be. She did nothing wrong. I walked into a knife she happened to be holding. I dropped the chicken bones my dog wanted so desperately to eat, and swallowed them in the confusion of my head bleeding everywhere.

Accidents happen. You just have to laugh!